Tuesday, November 1, 2011

My dad has just told me he has aggressive prostate cancer, I'm absolutely devastated, my dad is my whole world

My dad has just told me he has aggressive prostate cancer, I'm absolutely devastated, my dad is my whole world?
I don't know how i'm going to cope, I have two children, who i am trying to hide it from and my dad has asked for my support, but who can support me, he has asked me not to tell my mum, who is divorced from and it's killing me, because other than my dad, she's the only one I can really talk too, please help, I feel so useless and scared. I don't want him to die.
Cancer - 14 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I am sooo sorry, I am going through the same thing too with my dad, he had aggressive lung cancer and he is suffering so much, it is so hard to watch a parent die, please take care and take one day at a time. I will be praying for your dad like I do for mine.
2 :
Listen im not joking if u want ur dad 2 live try this only use it as a last resort type in 2 google "rick simpson run from the cure " watch the video and as i sed only use it as a last resort
3 :
Its REAL WORLD, I know You Know IT, but one thing you must keep in mind i.e. ITS A TOUGH TOUGH WORLD, and everyone seems too busy with his/her own life, Personally No one is READY to Help other because We all are in Trouble. Be Straight, Consult a good Doc. and if possible ask your any best friend from your locality to help you to go with you.
4 :
You will need to be the strong one, maybe your Dad needs time to get his head round everything before he tells other members of your family, you will need to respect his wishes, he will come to terms with it, but is unable to face people at the moment. Give him time, have they told him how long he has? This will obviousley reflect on your actions. It could be that he wants to tell your Mum himself, but doesn't feel ready to. Your strength will be his, be there for him, hug him, have a good cry together, but please, please be there for him, he will need you more than ever and he will need to be able to trust you. I lost my Dad when i was only nine, I am now forty five. You also need to seek support from one of the many Cancer Charitys, your Doctor should be able to help you with this, they will always be on the end of the phone.
5 :
Presley, Your father should ask the doctor for the radioactive seeds to be implanted in his prostate. Also, he can explore with his doctor the surgery to have the prostate removed. They are both good options. If the radioactive seeds work he should have 4/5 good years. Maybe, you should go to the doctor with your father? Think positive, Melora
6 :
Hi Presley, I am sorry you are going thru with this with your Dad. My Dad also had prostate cancer, he was 78 when diagnosed. He had daily radiation for six weeks and he is now 82 yrs old and doing great. I have terminal cancer, but its not nearly as scary as it was when my Dad was going thru this.. always harder to watch someone else suffer rather than ourselves. Unfortunately, he is watching me suffer now. He and I are the only ones in our entire family that have cancer, so we relate well to each other. Your support is going to mean the world to him even if its a heavy burden for you to carry. He must really trust you to tell you about his cancer. See if you can find an on line support group, yahoo has many cancer sections with support groups and some are of cancer of the prostate. You will be able to vent and find support from one of these groups. You need to be able to speak with someone about this or you will go 'insane'. But talk with your Dad, tell him how important it is for you to be able to discuss this with your Mom.. hopefully he will understand and relent. All the best to you.
7 :
You've shared with us so perhaps there are specialist groups out there who could help you. I have heard about the work that Maggie's centres do and if there is one near you they would provide a supportive group. If not there is an on-line community who might help. Above all they will listen to your very personal fears and needs without judging you. Don't try to conceal everything from your children. If they see your father tell them that Grandad isn't feeling very well but the doctor is trying to make him feel better (which is true). If they pass it on to your mother then just say that your father is going to the doctor but doesn't want to talk about it. Do you have a close friend who you could confide in who won't tell your mother what you have said? This would give you a much needed safety valve. The prostate cancer charity also offers support and information and have a nurse manned helpline. They may be able to direct you to local support groups who might be able to help. With all my best wishes for what will be a very difficult time and that you will find the strength to get through it.
8 :
ohhh sweety I'm so sorry!! I know it's hard, but my stepmom had the same thing. She lived through it! So don't worry, help your dad, bc he's going to have alot of trouble with this.. Keep his spirits high, be happy bc you have this time with him that most people don't have with there dads. I'm sure a friend would be happy to support you. Just ask, reach out. I'm also available. My email is katelynlovestyler@yahoo.com. I can't say that I share the same pain, but somewhat of it.
9 :
Hang in there, just because your dad has cancer doesn't mean he has to die. Depending on what stage it's in, it can still be cured by surgery and he can go on chemo. Don't think the worst until you hear the worst. God bless and pray, God doesn't give anybody anything they can't handle.
10 :
As devastating as the diagnosis of cancer can be, do not give up hope just yet. My father was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer in May of 2000. At that time, his cancer had already metastasized to his bones and his PSA was 250 (normal is 1-4, 10 is considered very high). He began a hormone therapy treatment of Lupron Depot and Casodex. Using this treatment, his PSA got back down to less than 1 and he lived a pretty active life for another 7 & 1/2 years. Up until his last six months or so, if you didn't know he was sick, you wouldn't have known that he was so sick.
11 :
DON'T panic my husband was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer over 3 years ago treatments are available, my husband has a zoladex injection every 3 months. he doing well http://www.prostate-cancer.org.uk/ this site has a message board the men and their families can get support from each other
12 :
I am sorry for you not being able to talk about this with anyone. Have you not a close friend who would listen to you? You don't mention whether your father is having treatment. Why not tell him how you feel about your mother and ask him if he would change his mind for your sake.
13 :
I am sooo sorry abou t this problem its horrible i know i had my dad and my hubby go through the same thing and there is nothing much you can do. well go and talk to your mom. i mean let her know she shouldn't be told and talk to her about it. you know God takes those he wants now and i dont' know why. they will be at peace and its nice then. i dont' k now what you may think but its praying and being around your dad while hes here that counts i know suffereing isn't going to be good but they will try and make him comfortable. My prayers are with you in this time take care
14 :
First off, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. Now, I am going to give you some ways to help you cope: 1. Educate yourself. Aggressive prostate cancer is not good. BUT, there are treatment options that can possible slow down or even control the cancer for quite some time. I will put a website at the bottom of the page to help you. 2.Get support, your Dad needs you (and you need him), there are things you can do together. There are prostate cancer support groups that you can go to together. People who are going through this are fantastic people to learn and lean on. 3. Go to the doctors with your dad and ask lots of questions.




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